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27 Oct Dear Advice Goddess: An older male friend keeps paying for me — buying me meals and clothes. Am I making a mistake in accepting? I've repeatedly made clear that I have no romantic interest in him. I'm a struggling artist, and he's highly successful. We're basically BFFs, talking and laughing every day. 25 Jan ADVICE GODDESS | Jan. I hear this weird, unearthly growling in the basement ,” and their friend would say, “Yeah, whatever” and keep playing chess, and the monster would cry itself to Order Amy Alkon's new book, Unf*ckology: A Field Guide to Living with Guts and Confidence, (St. Martin's Griffin, 30 Jul Sleepless in Fallujah. I just broke up with my girlfriend of seven months. We fought constantly, but the sex was amazing. Reviewing my relationships, it seems I have the best sex in the volatile ones — those where we argue all the time and really don't get along. I'm wondering whether there's a connection.

Jan 24, Advice GoddessAmy Alkon 0.

Some men will engineer elaborate plots to try to wear a woman's "nuh-uh, never gonna happen" into a "maybe just this once. Should I warn him? Sometimes it takes a wrong turn to point us in the right direction. For example, for her, venting her feelings may simply be a way of managing them. The Advice Goddess Jul 2, Imported 0.

Out of the blue, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Not long afterward, I saw pix on Facebook of him with some other girl.

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We were planning on moving in together in the spring. Maybe he got cold feet? Did he just break up with me to be with this girl?

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We crave certainty, and we get freaked out by uncertainty. Interestingly, there are some lessons for dealing with potential romantic horror from actual horror fare.

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Evolutionary researcher Mathias Clasen, author of Why Horror Seducesbelieves that one reason we appreciate horror movies is that they allow us to have an intense scary experience under safe circumstances — basically acting as a sort of mental training to help us protect ourselves in dire situations. For example, from a list of horror movie survival tips at the website Slasher Mania: So, upon entering a tall building, I occasionally flash on a helpful life lesson I picked up from The Shining: If the elevator opens and a flood of blood comes out, take the stairs.

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Research by Clasen and his colleagues presented at a academic conference I attended, but not yet published appears to give preliminary support to his horror-movies-as-life-prep hypothesis.

To do that, ask yourself some questions: How in touch is he with his own?

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Next, factor in your own temperament — how emotionally fragile or resilient you are. Practically speaking, the question to ask yourself: Ultimately, as psychologist Gerd Gigerenzer, who studies decision-making, writes: Sometimes it takes a wrong turn to point us in the right direction. To avoid being resentful over this little detour of his, maybe use the experience as a reminder to appreciate what you have as long as you have it.

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New brakes or traffic-stopping hair? Join our mailing list and get updates and other cool stuff. The natural impulse is to take shelter from the adrenaline storm — to escape and go off and recover — but this is hard to explain in any articulate and emotionally sensitive way in the moment, as your ability to reason is on sabbatical. The Advice Goddess Jun 11, Imported 0. Instead, be open about your deepest hopes, fears and dreams — right before you lock yourself in the bathroom with the elasticized stepsister of the plastic grocery sack.