A Polyamorous Couple’s Guide To Sleeping With Multiple Partners [INSIGHTS]
About The Series
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We talk about this a lot. But not everyone understands or is comfortable with our choice to be in multiple relationships at once. So we have to be somewhat careful as to how we go about it. When I signed up for the site, I already had a boyfriend, David, a man I lived with and considered my partner for many years.
So I was read more interested in those who accepted my relationship status. I messaged them both, but heard back from T. He introduced me to J. We believe that we are capable of loving and committing long-term to more than one person.
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David and I have since broken up, and T. I consider myself single and some day want to find a primary partner, but I do have people I love and feel romantically toward that I hope will always be a part of my life. Basically, it means exactly what it sounds like—someone who comes first. But to me, having a primary partner is tied to my desire to one day have an open marriage.
People who bother to read my profile know what my deal is from the start. Still, the messages I receive are across the board.
I tend to hear more from men than women or genderqueer folks. Yet I still consider virtual spaces, such as dating sites and other social networks, safe spaces, because they allow me to paint a more authentic picture of myself. They are queer and straight; monogamous and non-monogamous; penthouse-dwelling business consultants, grocery store clerks, acupuncturists; Asian, mixed, black and white.
The one thing we all have in common is the desire to test the boundaries of intimacy. The other thing we have in common is the need to hide these parts of ourselves from the outside world. We all agree that the coming out process never completely ends: Every time we start a new job, make a new friend, or go to a family reunion, we all choose when, how, and how much to share.
The coming out process never completely ends—every time we start a new job, make a new friend, or go to a family reunion, we all choose when, how, and how much to share. This can be extremely stressful. When I think about coming out as polyamorous to my loved ones, I worry what my mom will think. I have dreams where she is angry with me.
I messaged them both, but heard back from T. So we have to be somewhat careful as to how we go about it. Being real friends-with-benefits requires the highest level of emotional honesty and communication in order to make the parameters of the relationship clear and avoid hurt feelings.
My mother grew up with the conservative view that homosexuality is a sin. Once, his parents called him on his birthday while I was in the car with T.
Show 25 25 50 All. Being real friends-with-benefits requires the highest level of emotional honesty and communication in order to make the parameters of the relationship clear and avoid hurt feelings. This can apply to casual relationships as much as serious ones: Photo via Max Fleishman. But not everyone understands or is comfortable with our choice to be in multiple relationships at once.
While he was on the phone with them, I remained quiet in the backseat. We were concerned that acquaintances or casual friends would see us holding hands or flirting with someone else and ask if we were still together, so we wanted to preempt that concern by being public about our relationship status.
Disclosing this information to hundreds of people in our social sphere felt simultaneously liberating and uncomfortable.
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Photo via Max Fleishman. Up next after the break: Recommendations Donald Trump Apple vs.