What To Do If He's Seeing Other People
Dear Betch, How Do I Ask My Hookup If He's Banging Other People? - Betches
If he's constantly checking out other women or he talks about his other hookups, he's not ready to date you. If you're the only girl he's really paying attention to, that's a pretty good sign. 4. He's waiting to make a move. Sometimes you get that immediate physical connection, but a guy who really wants to date you will wait. 19 Sep Do I have a right to know if the guy I'm sleeping with is sleeping with other people ? How the F do I ask that?! It started off casually, but now that it's continued on for a few dates I kind of want to know so I can modify what I want and my expectations. Maybe I'd keep him around as someone on the side, but I. 28 Feb If you're thinking, “Well, duh,” you might be surprised to find out that experts say we are actually terrible at doing this. Dr. Lisa Wade, associate professor and chair of the sociology department at Occidental College, says that college students in hookups are typically afraid to ask the other person to sit down.
Should I asked this guy if he's still interested? September 5, 9: I'm starting to feel that I'm putting in more effort than I should at this point. Should I ask him if he still wants to date in general? I'm likely overthinking this, but here goes. I'm a late 20's gal, dating again a year after my first-and-only long term relationship. Please help me figure out this dating situation. The progression has been like this: In the messaging phase I wasn't swept away, but I dug him when I met him in person - he's cute, funny, smart and kind.
I initiated almost all date plans. I'm a planner, he is spontaneous. We also just click for source really different schedules; I have a day job, while he's a musician who works part-time often evenings and weekends. I said I was looking for something that was casual and fun and not necessarily monogamous until things got more serious. He agreed, all was good.
I ended things with a different guy I was seeing also casually. B made an offhand reference that he was still sleeping with another girl. I've met some of his friends. I knew I wouldn't see him for this time. I texted him a few times, and he answered, although not with a lot of follow up. I was a bit disappointed Should I Ask If Hes Hookup Others understood he was busy. After some back-and-forth I asked if he would be interested in doing a specific activity on a specific day next week.
He said he was interested but was busy with other things that day. All cool, which is what I said to him. But then he didn't suggest another day or date. In fact, the conversation fizzled after that. I'm a bit perturbed here. I normally have no issues ignoring dating "rules" ie.
And I do want to see this guy again, but I'm wondering if he's sending me the message that he's not interested by doing this. Even if that's not the case, I'm not interested in a relationship where I have to do all the work so that we can see each other Then again, we are explicitly casual!
We never had a conversation about relationship expectations, since we're not in a serious relationship. Maybe I'm annoyed at him for not doing things that I never made clear that I wanted, or things that are unreasonable for our status. I'm not even sure if I want to be exclusive or not! My plan was to have another date with him to remember our dynamics and everything, then bring up the idea of dating exclusively after some more thinking.
I'm not talking about going to a place and doing a thing. The best way to avoid becoming a hookup is to not sleep with the guy unless he makes a bit of a commitment. Somehow, the girl "messes" up the script by realizing the casual thing isn't what she thought it was, and wants to try making more of a relationship.
Also, since we haven't seen each other for a while, some of this might be "absence makes the heart grow fonder"-type idealism. I was thinking about sending him a message asking if he was interested in seeing me again in general, since I'm having here bit of trouble figuring that out. I'm trying to communicate directly here, but now I'm worried that text is actually passive-agressive. Plus I'm way more passive aggressive when I have to talk on the phone If he was interested in you, he'd make an effort.
You're overanalyzing this because you really like him and you want desperately for him to reciprocate.
So you're getting fixated. Stop sleeping with him, stop thinking about texting him, delete his number, forget he ever existed, and date other guys.
If you want to keep dating a flaky guy in a band who's on the road and sleeping with other women, you do have to play it cool. You could say "hey, it's your turn to ask me out next time. He said he was interested but was busy with other things that day. I remember a woman once starting the 'Where is this going chat with me by saying:
Guys who like you and are worth dating let you know. You keep chasing this guy, and I guarantee nothing good can come of it.
When To Contact A Guy If He Gave You His Number?
I was thinking about sending him a message asking if he was interested in seeing me again in general Read more. For a first date, declining without an alternative is a rejection. Two months plus sex in, declining without an alternative is just a scheduling hiccup.
He's had sex with you. Presume he is into you until proved otherwise. If you really do want something casual, sleep with other guys and don't act "coupley". You'll see him when you see him. Or decide that you want something more serious and date someone else.
I know that there aren't one size fits all rules for relationships, but generally speaking, casual sex is possible. If it was just a matter of seeing him again, you could simply pursue him until you see him again, and I would say to send the text, and to basically keep on contacting him until he sees you. But you want something more, you want him to be interested in seeing you. You seem more into him than he is into you -- you're stressed out about how much your effort you should be exerting, but if he felt the same way you wouldn't be feeling in limbo right now.
I would advise not sending the text, not because you should be "playing games" with him or whatever, but because I think it's dangerous to get too far out of sync with him. You've suggested a date, he turned it down, he can counter or you can wait a little while and then suggest something else.
But I think you need to dial it down a notch with him and pursue other people or other activities for a bit. I'm not saying this relationship is doomed or whatever, I would just cool it a bit so things don't get too one-sided. Yes, send the text. It's also the only way you're going to get an answer, if you don't want to call him.
Stop second-guessing yourself and tiptoeing around him. It doesn't matter how you felt when you started seeing him; this is how you feel NOW, and it's perfectly valid. But he's not a mind reader. Should I Ask If Hes Hookup Others is why you need to ask him, specifically, 'Do you want to keep seeing each other?
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Do you want to be exclusive? Because at the moment, I think you're falling into the 'if I don't push him, things are likely to fall into place and work out better' trap.
I did that, and it worked out horribly. You certainly can't presume he's into you enough to want to date you exclusively. Sad, but true, IME. Any guy that really is into you is not going to be irrevocably turned off because you openly ask for what you want. Look out for yourself. Instead of "do you want to see me again? The former is a bit problematic, because he has to guess at what's going on internally with you.
Yeah, you've got to find out one way or another for sure if he's into you or it's going to bother you. I'd follow the advice above about how to phrase it.
If he responds positively, then great! If not, then at least you know and in time you'll be able to look back on what seems like a pretty fun casual relationship.
How to Ask if He's Seeing Other People
Someone else attractive found you attractive! That alone is enough to hang your hat on. I'm annoyed with this guy on your behalf! It sounds like he is jerking you around a little bit. My gut instinct is to not text him - it is up to him now to suggest an outing for a change. And if you don't hear from him, then there's your answer. But if he does follow-up with you which he absolutely should because you sound great! I agree with the comment that says that two months in, not offering an alternative date is notnecessarily a break-up or brush-off, all the more so because you're communicating by text.
And also, if you want to hang out, wait a few days and try again. Unfortunately, you may be the default scheduler now. Unfair, yes, and you can change it. You could say "hey, it's your turn to ask me out next time.
He sounds flaky, but I wouldn't write him off as uninterested. You could always text him variations on: If he doesn't respond well, or at all, to those then you have some more Should I Ask If Hes Hookup Others. There comes a point at which that person has to stop running away for you to actually have something with them. If this guy only stops running away to have sex with you, and is also having sex with Should I Ask If Hes Hookup Others else, then make sure you're on board with that.
The problem that I see here lies in the fact that you both seem to want different things. You seem to this web page something that much more closely resembles a relationship, where he seems to not be interested in that at all. Put the ball in his court and see whether or not he picks it up.