Addicted to love in the age of loneliness - Telegraph
ORG for assistance and make some phone calls from there. Good luck and welcome to the program. deleted_user 09/07/ I have been attending mostly SCA meetings. I attend one SAA meeting a week which is fantastic. In my area there are only a few SAA meetings. There are mostly SA, SCA, and SLAA meetings. There are no dues or fees to attend an S.L.A.A. meeting. Voluntary Our meetings are an opportunity for members to relate their stories about recovery from sex and love addiction. Gathering with other sex and love addicts at an S.L.A.A. meeting is the primary way we learn how to get sober and maintain recovery. 29 Apr I was nearing 10 years clean and sober when my therapist handed me a directory for Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. After all those years of inventory and self-examination, it ended up taking me about five minutes in an SLAA meeting to put a name to what had been wrong with me the whole time.
Like, I fucking love them.
I'm sorry you had such a negative first experience at the meeting. At my first SAA meeting it was me crying in a room full of 12 men. Retreat in the channel.
Because, as it turns out, wanting someone is not the some as loving someone. One of the gifts of my recovery is the relationships I have developed with the brothers in my program. For the first time in maybe ever, I am able to actually see men as fellow human beings. And I was so jealous.
I wanted to be an iron wall. I wanted to fuck without consequence, to go through life without pain, be able to use, walk away and never look back. This is what I perceived the male experience to be. Then I started going to meetings.
I heard men old men, young men, tall men, short men, handsome men, less conventionally attractive men, gay men, straight men tell my story. Time and time again, I would set aside my preconceived notions and listen. What I heard shook up everything Single And Sober Hookup Slaa Phone Meetings thought I knew. Last week some douchebag did something douchey.
Fuck those misogynistic, hateful dickbags overcompensating for their obvious shortcomings. They can all go sit and spinI thought.
Last night I went to a fellowship party and hung out with my friends. My friends who now include both men and women. This snapped me back into reality.
I had a blast. Guys who, no matter how hot they might be, I will never want to sleep with. Guys who, no matter how kind and gentle, or rich they are, I will never ask to rescue me or to take care of me. I thank God that I am now able to go though life with an open mind and an open heart and that I am now able to love and see love all around me.
I remember this time two years ago, Go here Ironically, I ended up breaking that resolution less than six months later, in Junewhen I went into recovery for sex and love addiction. Before that time I had such resistance to step programs. I had even looked up statistics about their failure rates, and would cite then whenever step groups came up in conversation.
They might no longer be addicted to drugs or alcohol, but they are addicted to meetings. In fact, being in those meetings triggered more issues with food and body image than I came in with.
I had all twelve.
For whatever reason, there was some dark energy that was blocking us. I heard men old men, young men, tall men, short men, handsome men, less conventionally attractive men, gay men, straight men tell my story. Sexual promiscuity serves to hide an avoidance of intimacy. Stalking goes against every moral code I have.
Every share at that meeting, I could relate to. There was no way getting around it, I belonged at that meeting. So I went to a few more, but then I used my best worst thinking and determined that finding someone else to obsess over was a much easier way to get over whomever he was.
Does anyone go to SAA meetings? | DailyStrength
Instead of sticking around and waiting for the miracle, I chose my tried and true method for getting over an ex — getting under someone else. After that I put my heart in soul into acting out. And as for the sex addiction? I was just a young, adventurous, open-minded woman, with an active social life, not a sex addict. Then I met HC.
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I knew minutes after meeting him that I was fucked. Something in him triggered a chemical reaction in me that was like I had just shot myself up with heroin. Being with him was absolute ecstasy and I was instantly addicted. I was desperate and fully recognized how absolutely powerless I was over my addiction to him. That was the mantra that was going through my head all of the summer of I had many fantasies about what would happen at the end of those six months.
The rest imagined me meeting my future husband six months and one day later. All of them involved me being percent better and living a life that was entirely problem free.
A year and a half later, and my life is far from perfect. It is nothing like I imagined it would be, but click is amazing. My life is filled with joy, love, and acceptance. A few years back I dated this guy.
CS seemed totally normal at first. He was good looking, charming, well-educated and intelligent. After awhile, though, he started to creep me out. He would make comments about how often I went on the dating site where we met. He wanted to know how many other guys I was seeing. Then he told me he found my profile on another site. CS also knew stuff about me I had never told him. Apparently he had googled me, looked at my resume and found articles I had written in college. I had a blog at the time and the page hits went up exponentially after I met CS.
One night I was on the dating site where CS and I had met. I got an email from a man that, based on his profile, seemed perfect — tall, creative, successful, rich, intelligent. I talked to Mr. Perfect for a few days on messenger. We talked for hours.
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The only weird thing was that Mr. Perfect never wanted to talk on the phone. I eventually found out why when CS called me up screaming. He called me a lying bitch and a whore. See, there was no Mr. CS had created a fake profile and I had been talking to him the whole time. Not that it was any of his business, but a couple of times I had told CS I was going to bed, then stayed up talking to Mr.
Perfect I was looking for a long term relationship. Single And Sober Hookup Slaa Phone Meetings is why CS felt justified in calling me a liar. It never occurred to him that his lies far outweighed mine. After we broke up, I found out that Mr.
He also created a fake female account to talk to other men on the dating site that he suspected I was seeing. Around this time I made the mistake of agreeing to meet a different guy in public without ever hearing his read article on the phone.
I went to the coffee shop where we had planned to meet and waited and waited, but the guy never showed. Later I found out that this was another account that CS had fabricated. He sat home laughing his ass off while I got stood up by a phantom of his creation. We finally broke up. CS left me alone for awhile. I learned to ignore him. Six months after we stopped seeing each other, I was living in a new apartment. I was in a wild mood one night and put ad on Craigslist looking for a casual hookup.
Stupidly I let one guy come over to my house without first meeting him in public. We had talked on the phone, and he sounded cool, but the private number he called from should have been a red flag. When my doorbell rang it was CS on my doorstep.
How could he tell it was me just from my words? I was freaked out, but ended up having sex with him anyway. After that, CS came over a few more times, almost always unannounced. I knew he was crazy, but I was crazy too. So even though I was angry, it never stopped me from sleeping with him.
My ego likes to portray a certain image, even in recovery. I am the sweet little girl who was dealt a shitty hand. I was abused, neglected, abandoned all throughout childhood. Then as an adult I was constantly victimized by men — raped, used and abused, lied to, humiliated.
I attempted to control, lied to, and violated men that I was obsessed with. Stalking goes against every moral code I have. I would never ever violate a friend, a family member, a coworker, a neighbor, or anyone else by invading their privacy.