SHE HAS HERPES!!
New GF tells me she has herpes.
I'm a year-old guy who has been close friends with a girl for close to a year. We just confirmed tonight we had feelings for each other, and I think she's pretty special. Anyway, she let me know that between her last boyfriend and me, she had a one-night stand with a guy who gave her Herpes. I don't know. Long story short, she tells me "Adrian, I have genital herpes." She goes on to tell me about how it's "one of the most common" sexually transmitted infections, and that it isn't serious from a medical standpoint, and that aside from outbreaks, there are no complications from it. I am listening to her, trying to keep. I feel bad because that was our last date and he was a really nice guy and honest as well, he didnt have to tell mebut the risk of getting it scared me away. I also have a . If someone held a gun to my head and told me to climb a rock or have unprotected sex with a woman with herpes I would probably climb the rock.
Sex I like a girl, but click here has herpes. Is this a deal breaker for most men? I like a girl, but she has herpes. I don't know how our sex life would be since she has herpes. I like her 24f and we've been on a couple dates and hooked up, but I stopped when she told me she had herpes. Can anyone shine some light on this? I don't know why I'm being downvoted, I just want opinions.
I can't speak for most men, since I'm not them, but it certainly wouldn't be for me. I already carry HSV2. Its incredibly common, and at worst mildly uncomfortable for a few days at a time even without antivirals. With them, outbreaks are really rare. OP, highly recommend you educate yourself on herpes prevalence and typical effects on those who have it. Measuring that to an exact percentage is difficult to do, but just to get an idea Wikipedia is a good place to start:.
About 1 in 6 Americans Although many people infected with HSV develop labial or genital lesions, the majority are either undiagnosed or display no physical symptoms. On top of that, you're more likely to encounter someone who has it and doesn't know. Your risk of getting herpes is lower by dating someone who knows they have it and have informed you.
Ever hooked up with a girl with herpes?
On top of that even if you do get it you most likely won't display symptoms. Even if you do display symptoms, herpes is highly manageable and is very unlikely to significantly affect your ability to have a happy, healthy click. This is actually a pretty interesting topic because, from a statistical angle, sleeping with a woman who is aware of her herpes status and is actively mitigating it bodes better for your source of contracting the virus than sleeping with randoms who live a very casual-sex-laden lifestyle.
Something to consider but ultimately the decision has to be yours and yours alone. Go here have to respect that she at least put it out there before anything happened. Assuming OP saying The Girl Im Hookup Just Told Me She Has Herpes up means just kissing. I've heard of a few stories where the girl just neglects mentioning it because there is always that chance the guy will instantly leave.
I was in a very similar situation to OP and I basically screwed this girl around until she didn't want to talk to me anymore. I fell into this trap of looking up statistics and thinking how likely I was to catch it. I'd even go as far as planning how I was going to touch her as to avoid as much contact and in the end I just started avoiding her and the topic of sex altogether. It may be true that you are at better odds of not catching it with her compared to random women.
In my opinion though this statistic is worthless when you think about how the relationship will go and how long it could go for. There will always be a chance you will catch it and lets face it, if you've been together for 10 years then you probably will. You aren't going to use condoms forever are you? My advice is to look at the statistics. But don't let them consume you.
Sometimes we feel the need to take risks and if you think that she is worth it then maybe you will take that risk. If not then i'm sure she will understand. Keep your chin up because there are other women out there. If she's on medication and they don't here a condom, he should still be fine.
The medication is mitigating the risk, the condom is mostly just preventing pregnancy at that point. I don't CARE what you do. She has to own up to her situation.
I would first talk to a professional on STDs. There are a lot ways to avoid catching herpes from women.
She is, but if OP wants to sleep with her and wants to mitigate HIS risk, then offering to pay for a herpes suppression medication is in HIS best interest.
It's not about money. If it's a situation where they are in a long term relationship, it makes sense to pay or even split herpes medication. The way See more wrote the post, she's a new girl in his life.
She has responsibility to her self to take care of herself. You can't begin a relationship where she takes on zero or even half the responsibility for her mistakes.
That's why you can't pay.
She Has an STD @Hodgetwins
If she has a desire to be sexually active, then she needs to do this. The thing to do is to talk to a professional. Ideally talk to the professional with her. Or don't sleep with her and find someone else.
If she is not on medication already, I don't see the harm in asking to pay half. That stuff is expensive.
To mitigate personal risk. If OP wants to get his dick wet and she's not medicated his risk is substantially click. Think of him offering to support medication for her as him wearing a second condom.
First of all if she's not having a breakout, and he wears condom, no broken skin, and washes the area where he touched her genitals or infected area immediately after intercourse, there's pretty low chance of getting infected.
Medication suppresses breakouts, or reduces virus sloughing.
All Medication isn't the same for herpes. But doesn't completely eliminate risk.
The thing is by going to a professional together, the two of them can develop plan of go here. He can also weed her out if she's worth taking the risk in the first place. And he can have some real knowledge about the possibilities. Regardless, she must take responsibility for her disease, that's the most important part.
It's not his burden to shoulder, and she will respect for that. Statistically, the chances of screwing around one night and not being vigilant over a LONG time period are high Is she worth it? Would you get herpes and be ok with that? Becuase in the long-run, the chance is there, and its not small.
It's not life threatening, it doesn't permanently disfigure you, and has no other side effects besides the minor skin condition. And remember it is your choice what you do and you need to decide what you are comfortable with. She has a lot of great qualities that I find attractive and after being single for two years out of a divorce, I'm not sure I've been this confident in girl I've met. That's nice of you potentially not letting the fact that some guy having herpes stand in the way of what could be something good; being that you have herpes. I'm not sure of the detail, but knowing people who are currently in this situation, they seem to deal with it happily enough.
Not every successful relationship ends in marriage, some couples choose to stay unmarried. My best friend is in an extraordinarily similar situation. His gf is 24 and has herpes.
She was up front about it, telling him before they had sex for the first time. What I told him was article source Do not hook up around her flare ups or whatever they're called and research the disease.
If you doubt your feelings for this girl but still want to give it a shot then take it slow, and keep in mind it's ultimately your risk and your decision. He's months into the relationship and still clean. They're actually moving in together here in a minute. A big reason on why herpes is so common now is that people don't know that the have it at all and unknowingly pass it to their partner.
What's the difference between herpes and love? If she's not on daily suppression meds, wear condoms and use dental dams. Which one is "oral herpes"? This probably underpins it all, doesn't it. This is lunacy on a stick.
And condoms are not very effective since herpes can be on the butt, thighs, and sex organs. So say you are a male and your female partner has a healing outbreak or is "shedding" which you never know if you are shedding and say your balls are tapping her ass, that skin to skin contact can make you then infected. I have no way of knowing whom it came from since it could lay dormant for quite sometime and still be passed.
I hope this helps you and your friend understand it a little bit more. I have done so much research since docs kinda suck. Thank you for the information. I'll certainly pass this along. I was personally unaware that shedding was a part of the disease. I believe my friend is aware of it but I'll be making sure of that soon.
Since we found out after we had already done the dirty unprotected, I wanted to find any information out there. I havebeen finding a lot of conflicting info in regards to passing it along to another partner.
A Guy's Guide To Growing Up
But I feel more comfortable, seeing as you never know when you are "shedding", to always assume that you will pass it. And from what research I have read, even a blood test will not give a posiive until about 3mo after the initial breakout.
I am no doctor, so please do not quote me. I just wanted to know anything and everything. A very close friend of mine who also has herpes had a great way of putting it when I was super down in the dumps more info feeling disgusting. She said, "So what?! Every now and again I get a blister or two.