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Did you hear the good news?
No, Trump is still our president. You know, Mercury is in retrograde until December 22nd?
Cancer, you are literally the life of every party. Ben Sasse spills Dr. Doki Doki Literature Club. It's sad that Mercury is in retrograde right now and our astrological lives are in disarray! Is he going to freak out when, one week in, you casually bring up that your parents are in town?
Oh, that's not good news? It's sad that Mercury is in retrograde right now and our astrological lives are in disarray!
Ryan Gosling could make things better, I suppose. Your entire Instagram is hot mirror pics and bikini throwbacks that showoff your bod even in the dead of winter. According to tumblr user lashtonofficialCancers are sooooo tiny it makes them sad.
What does this mean? If you're me, then that's just a normal day anyway. But for other happy people, Mercury in retrograde really screws with your life. Your boss might drop a huge project on you when you already have a million other things to do.
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Your partner might start irking your nerves to the point where you want to end things. So what is there to do about this horrible journey of Mercury Retrograde? I have some ideas!
We don't send regular emails, we send cool emails
We can start doing yoga at our work desks so that we can learn to breathe and flex through our issues instead of turning a spork on our coworker. We can actually use this time to work out our anxiety issues at hand in a peaceful manner instead of using the anger and hatred that comes with Mercury being in retrograde. And the other thing that we can do is laugh.
Laugh in the face of Mercury and all the havoc it will wreak on your life. We're here to help with that part!
Get It Together, Girl: Buzz December 1, We will get through this! Ryan Gosling could make things better, I suppose. It's just Mercury retrograde.
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Take two aspirin and call me when Mercury Retrograde is over. Mercury is in retrograde. May the odds be ever in your favor. Can you not right now? When you hook up with an ex during Mercury retrograde and blame it on the stars. Let's ponder the meaning of life, shall we? Tell me again how celestial magic controls your entire life? Well, maybe this time I'll make an exception.
Why are you being an asshole. The Mercury retrograde posts are coming. I'm sorry for the things I said when Mercury was in retrograde.