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My boyfriend of almost 3 years, cheated on me :(? | Yahoo Answers

17 Aug A fair bit has happened since I put up my post a couple of days ago, but I'll try to keep it as brief as I can. After hours of reading your replies, I decided that I'd drive home and grab some essential items before my BF got home from work, and stay a few nights at our local motel. A few of you suggested that. Almost four years ago, I found out that my loving, loyal, boyfriend of four years had been cheating on me. 3. I learned how to love someone despite their flaws . Crazy, I know, but I was in love with the guy. I loved him despite all these terrible qualities. When I found out he was cheating, I realized that if I could love someone. 24 Oct I've just found out my boyfriend of five years cheated on me nearly three years ago with a one-night-stand. I found out because an up-till-now dormant.

Community Links Members List. My boyfriend of five years cheated on me three years ago. How can we move on? I've just found out my boyfriend of five years cheated on me nearly three years ago with a one-night-stand. I found out because an up-till-now dormant STD developed symptoms. He wouldn't have told me otherwise - it would have destroyed our relationship at the time as it was already rocky.

Although there were circumstances at the time which basically pointed to him feeling pretty bad about our relationship and his life in general, he's honest about the fact that there's no excuse and that he doesn't deserve to be with me. He knows he should have told me at the time. He said it made him realise how much he really wanted to be with me at the time and is the biggest mistake he's ever made in his life.

He's in pretty bad shape about the whole thing because of guilt and anger at himself for treating me so badly. He's in a worse state than me if truth be told. There's a part of me that's glad about this.

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I want him to suffer for what he's risked. At the same time, our relationship now is much better than it was back then and we were extremely happy before I found out about the one-night-stand. We've been talking about marriage. I don't want to be click of those gullible women who take their man back out of fear of being on their own - but surely everyone is allowed to make one mistake?

I want us to stay together but I don't know how I can ever trust him again. I want him to make up for this huge mistake but how could he begin to? Has anyone else been in this kind of situation who could offer me advice? I really don't know how to feel at this point.

Share Share this post on Digg Del. My husband and I are closer now after the affair than we were before. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar. The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. If he cheated on you three years agon, how come you've found out about the STD only now? Rather than give you an advice on that, I'd better tell you that Chlamidya left untreated can lead to infertility, so on and so on.

Run all the tests each year if you have no reason to do it more often!

They've only recently reconnected and I have only recently begun to know her a little. Less than 2 minutes. Vanishing out of nowhere like everyone is telling her to do isn't healthy. I had been dating my BF for 4 months.

That is my rule. The cheating is one problem. Tha fact that he did not protect hmself, that he exposed you and this could indanger your life is another. Thanks all for your very speedy replies already.

Pocky Thank you, that was reassuring CurlyIam I forgot to mention that he did use protection but that he was very drunk and it obviously did not work. Chlamydia can be passed on orally as well. I'm aware that chlamydia can cause infertility long-term, and am looking into tests. That is a whole seperate problem. I'm sure that if he'd been aware that he had chlamydia, he would've told me about it and therefore not endangered me at all. Thanks for your concern. If anone else can offer me any more advice, any help would be much appreciated.

Caught BF of 3 years CHEATING! + EVIDENCE

What is important is that you start trusting him again, the longer you go with these questions in the back of your mind thinking what he might be up to the more destructive it will be. If your sure he's only done this the once and he's showing remorse click regret for his actions then I'd say give him another chance.

As long as you get the actual reason for why he done it then you should be ok.

My Boyfriend Of 3 Years Cheated On Me

You can work on the issues that caused it if they're still valid, dont take any pish from him about being drunk, when I'm drunk I might find the people in the clubs more attractive but acting on it isn't acceptable, no one can be so drunk that they forget a partner. If it comes to it read more you should drag him to a relationship counsellor, if your talking about marriage then it should at least get off on the right foot and trust issues isn't exactly a great thing.

Does he remember whom he had sex with? Where he had it with that person? Personally, one night stands I think are easier to forgive than affairs. My biggest problem would be: So you would still have needed to know, even if we are strictly speaking from a medical pov I think a one night stand, when one is trully vulnerable and drunk enough can be surpassed by a strong woman. It still is betrayal, but it's not nearly as bad as having an affair. A one night stand does not turn that person into a current cheater.

My boyfriend of almost 3 years, cheated on me: No photos, links, or videos Please don't feed the trolls or request proof. If you knew for a fact that it would happen again, would you want him gone right now?

Bad stuff happen every day. Some of them My Boyfriend Of 3 Years Cheated On Me be his fault, others won't. The most important thing to me in a relationship is how you choose to deal with it.

By facing it or by hidding it. Maybe I'm being too harsh here, but someone who'd put me at risk, my life, my not being to have babies That is what would make me really wonder I'd get really mad and irrational too, but that's me. I'm sure you don't want to hear bad things here about what could have happened Do you believe him? How can he not have realised he did not use a condom?

Did he have 2 condoms in his pockets and one of them slipped the day after? He didn't tell you about cheating in the first place.

Would he tell you about him NOT using a click here I'll say what I think: Realised he made a mistake and was too chicken to face the consequences of his deeds. To me his cheating comes second to the main problem: Not about the cheating,but about putting My Boyfriend Of 3 Years Cheated On Me in danger and about how totally irresponsale he acted.

I know no woman who'd stay with a man for 5 years and not be inlove with her man. I am not telling you this to hurt you. But to make you wonder. And compare his deeds to other things he might have made in the past There's no shame in choosing to stay in this relationship even now.

The main thing is that you know the person next to you for now or later in life and that you're not lying to yourself. That you know what to expect from him later on,when you'll maybe need to rely on him, to depend on him. I think he was pretty sure he'd been safe and not put me into danger.

We've talked about why he did it - it seemed to be a self-destruct night triggered by the problems in his life at the time. He didn't care about the consequences because he didn't care about anything at that point. That changed the next morning when he realised what he'd done. I'd agree with you, Curly. The fact that he didn't tell me shows that he didn't respect me enough to make decisions about our relationship together.

He was too cowardly to face up to the consequences of his actions. He's looked me in the eye and lied time and time and time again since then, telling me he'd never cheated. At the same time - the fact he lied to me probably saved our relationship.


We probably would have broken up if he had told me then, whereas now we might get over it. I'm really worried about my chances of having children now. He is as well. I think he feels inexpressably guilty about what his actions may have done to my body.

I'll have to deal with that if and when it comes up in the tests. I'm just trying to cope with this just now. It's just hitting me after three days.

My Boyfriend Of 3 Years Cheated On Me

I don't more info if I do really know him, if I'll ever be able to rely on him when I need him. I don't know if he can rely on me enough to talk to me before he feels so My Boyfriend Of 3 Years Cheated On Me. Like you say, Curly, bad stuff happens every day. If he can't deal with it on his own, he shouldn't sleep with another woman to get over it.

He tells me he hasn't cheated on me before that one time or since, but he hasn't given me any guarantees over whether he'll be able to stop himself doing it again or not. It's his way of being honest. How can anyone possibly guarantee how they'll act in the future? He should be able to promise me not to do it again. On one hand I love him. On the other, I can't trust him.